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  • The meaning of LIFE(time)

    http://x98.xanga.com/c30c921042535188078931/w144516959.jpg

    So sad that this apparently means NOTHING to Xanga any longer. After the hundreds of dollars I poured in to this place by purchasing a subscription for myself as well as gifts of LIFETIME status for people who meant so much to me here, I now see that status is now useless and Xanga “2.0″ (woop de doo) wants me to pay even MORE???

    umm… no.

    (walks away quietly shaking her head)

  • Miss you all!

    I don’t post much but I still check the digest every now and then. So great to see some near and dear posting again. I love and miss you all!

  • It not only speaks but it SCREAMS in my house …

     

     

     

    For any of my long-time readers who wonder what happened to me? I am still here. I simply (?) became the mother to a teenaged son … with autism. Suffice it to say I am now “getting” why people felt sorry for, or were in awe of the fact that I was a special needs mom. Let me just say that the first 12-13 years of living with a diagnosis of autism have been a walk in the park, compared to the past 12-18 months … of having to raise another TEENAGER (Jessica is still alive and well but it was touch and go for us all for awhile there) … and this time one who cannot communicate his wants/needs/feelings/hatred of me.

    NOT.AN.EASY.TIME. for anyone.

    We have finally had to throw our hands up and beg for assistance … from doctors … teachers and behavior interventionists. This has been my life, while trying to hold down the only job that provides insurance benefits. So … if you wonder where I’ve been or why I don’t answer your texts, or emails or phone calls or comment on your Facebook status? Please don’t take it personally. I am still here … reading when I can. Missing my dear Xanga friends, and wishing I had more time to call my own.

  • I humbly apologize … …

    … for my absence, as this will always be a type of HOME to me.

    I have been skimming posts from those I subscribe to every now and again.

    But I’ve just not felt like saying much of anything.

    I think I have learned that not every bit of my life matters to everyone, if anyone at all so I’ve tried to keep it to myself.

    But I do know that there are wonderful people that I’ve grown to love through this medium who might wonder what I or we have been up to so I am checking in.

    I am …

    Still married to the most tolerant man on God’s Green Earth.

    Still offering a roof over my adult girl-child’s head as she works at Staples (Print & Copy) and attends community college. I am so very proud of her work ethic and am glad to see that she realizes she should have tried a bit harder her first year in college, so we co-exist peacefully.

    Still living and loving with autism in our family. It is now in its teen-aged form and great fun. Seriously I thank the goddesses that I don’t have a “normally developing teenager” as that is just too ugly. I am thrilled to report that in a couple of weeks I will be having a tru “sweet 16″ party for my son. His guests will range in age from 2 to 20.

    I have always said I don’t define myself by my job … “mom” but I guess I do.

    I thank any and all of you who ever reminded me I was more than just a mom.

    You know who you are! 

  • I Love My Xanga Family

    … I always have and I always will. Even though I don’t post here often, this place will always have a feeling of “home” and it is because all of you who read here.

    Facebook, Schamacebook was a time-waster for me, as I have no family who read here. My “family” on the net is all of you, who I have grown to love, and care about and think about on a daily basis. So whilst I balk at all of the bells and whistles I don’t have the time to figure out here I will always be forever grateful to the lifelong X-friends I have made here.

    Anyway, I stopped blogging when I had an epiphany that people really didn’t care about my life. But the reality was that I still cared, very much about theirs, so I have been lurking and reading entries delivered to my inbox and loving each and every one of you through it.

    But it is time for me to throw something up here.

    As I am now older and supposedly wiser …

    So Lessee … …

    I am still married to the same tolerant man who I said “I do” to 26+ years ago.

    We are raising two of the most beautiful children ever. One working and attending community college and the other in his sophomore year in special ed. They are our joy, and spending the day with one  or both of them is a true gift that was realized for our birthdays this year. I turned 49 on Monday. I asked for the day as a vacation day. I practiced being lazy. It was fun. My husband and daughter worked all day. They arrived home after 5. My daughter had already purchased the food to cook my b-day dinner. It was delish. We watched Eddie Izzard comedy routines streamed through the Wii while we ate. Good stuff. Husband cleaned up. Who needs presents after a night like that?

    On Tuesday I was called into action … to “make” the gift my daughter had ordered for her dad. Because she had night class. She bought him filet mignon steakes and dipping sauce from Hearst (as in William Randolph) Ranch. So I was called into action to prepare Filet Mignon (butterflied because we like meat well done) with melted goat cheese and balsamic vinegar syrup. It.Was.Delish. The Carrot Cake from http://kksbundtcakes.com/cm/Home.html was excellent as well. But the best part of it all was spending time with my family. Laughing at 3rd Rock from the sun DVD episodes while we opened presents.

    I am learning late in life that birthdays are not so much about the ‘stuff’ as about the time. Time that I was able to spend with my family.

    I Love You All for Being a part of it.

    slocyn

     

  • When I wake up tomorrow, I will acknowledge my “final fortieth” (to quote queenie Cassi) birthday. Note I did not say celebrate. I am merely acknowledging. Hoping to hell that this year will turn around one of the worst decades I have had in my life. And I do know it is up to me to make that happen so …

    Happy Birthday To Me. whatevah

  • Still here …

    … still perusing the daily digest as it hits my INBOX.  I still enjoy reading the blogs of the wonderful friends I have met here. I think almost daily about putting SOMETHING down in this space, but I honestly don’t have anything to say. Nothing blog-worthy even happens in my life. The only thing I would end up writing about are complaints and I don’t want to do that. I am at a point in my life where I have to turn negatives into positives. So I am trying and I am starting with me. Perhaps when I feel a little less negative about me the rest of the world will seem brighter again.

    Until then, I am making good progress, jumping HUGE personal hurdles, and sending love to all who [still] darken my Xanga door … …

    slocyn

  • Right Now …

    … is a very sad time to work for the state of California.